So, I've gotta pour my heart out somewhere, and since you're around, internet, I'm gonna do it to you.

Why should I care about your problems? What have you ever done for me?

Hey, what are you talking about? I've loved you since the day we met.

Yeah, sure, for porn. So, what are your problems, you nerdy little shit?

Hey, if you keep talking to me like that how am I supposed to be open with you?

Never stopped you before. Talk, asshole. My time's wastin' and so is your bandwidth.

Ok... So, there's this girl. She'll remain nameless because she knows who she is. I love this girl, but, I can't get through to her. All I get for the past two weeks is silence. I'm losing my mind, not eating, hardly sleeping, and when I do sleep, I dream that she's here and she still doesn't talk to me. Not a peep. Not a text to say hello. What the hell?

Man, I don't even know. I've got other shit to do. Figure it out.

Thanks internet. Thanks for no help at all.