Feelin' kinda lost tonight, folks. Outside, far away from where I want to be. Half the world, in fact. I dream of running under the desert sun, under fire, not knowing what will happen next or if I will be alive to see it. It's the very edge of everything, chaos, terror, horror, and I really want to go and see it for myself. To take pictures and send them back to people in their calm normal existences, and maybe someone will wake up.

The crazy thing is, I can do that. Six months, I'll have the money to go anywhere in the world long enough to make contacts and pictures and sell them and really start a career. It's wild and it's crazy and I'm going to do it.

The weird thing, why I'm lost: I'm not where I want to be, but I don't mind where I am. I have a good job, good money, lots of friends. The climate here sucks, and the scenery is mostly the clouds, but it isn't a bad place. I could hang around here and make a decent life, find some little thing with enough curves and brain cells to keep us entertained, make this job into a career with some law school, and have a good, happy time.

I could do that, a nice stable life. Fuck that though. Why be normal when I can live a dream? Why do average when I can do whatever I want? Hotter women, more languages, more danger, more life. Feel every breath, see every person, love them all. Keep shooting and keep shooting until my light goes out.

OK, not lost any more. Time to sleep.