photo adventures

This is from the rest of the last batch of processing. Traci (last picture) came and rescued me from my stircrazyness on Friday, whereupon we went downtown and walked around, lots of fun things to see around that time of day, just as work is getting out. Then there was sauced pizza and a norman party, where everybody thought my brace was fake until I told them the story. Getting out again, I've told that same story 20 million times. hopefully I'm done telling it now, but I have a feeling I won't be able to stop until I'm done wearing the brace.

My dad, playing with the dog. I don't know what occasioned this look.

Most people would take a picture of the statue that this camera watches, but I found the sign much more interesting.

I know I've taken and shown similar, but I don't care.

This is the inside of an old bank building, downtown. The architecture was quite detailed and decorative, very nice. the kind of stuff nobody makes any more.

Alleys:




Traci, picking her outfit. With ISO 400 film, this was like 1/30th of a second at f/1.2. The party was darker, so those pictures didn't really work out.

old photos..

since I've had to resort to shooting film, I had to get it processed, and there was this random roll that has been on my printer stand for a while, so I had it done as well. These are from the end of spring 2006, at the annual Doc Studies barbecue. Looking at this old work, I couldn't help but notice how different it is, and how much higher a percentage of misses I had back then, even with the same camera & lens.

Two of the graduating seniors.

Professors standing around. The difference in the personalities from right to left is so huge, if they stood any closer, the universe would have exploded.


Kari, my girlfriend at the time. I'm going to leave it as an exercise for the reader to make up what happened between us. I can tell you it won't be as interesting as what actually happened.

Paseo arts fest

I forgot my cf cards, and so I had to improvise and use my phone camera to take a few pictures. It was a very zen experience shooting this way, with complete simplicity. I was able to concentrate soley on the images. you only have one button to push, and that's it.



I was sitting there, at sauced, at Haley's booth, and I was watching all the ametures with their digital rebels, and I realized that the difference between them and the professionals I had worked around and with was principally one of concentration. The pros are zeroed in on what they are doing, the only thing in the world for them is the viewfinder.

Matty from the Rodchenko(sp?) angle.

On a completely different note, I found a really cool company called Elphel building the open source camera I dreamed up last year. they sell a bunch of boards that could theoretically turn any old 35mm film camera into a digital camera, in either black and white or color. Their examples kinda suck, and I suspect it has something to do with the tone curves they're using, but if I can get the parts and get it to spit out 16 bit raw data, I would be one happy matt mills. For the nerds: Elphel's web site.

it's 6:30 and I'm still up. time to give up on sleep?

(note: where I say today, I'm mostly talking about sunday, as I started writing this at about 5am monday morning, thinking still as if "today" were sunday. It's a total brain dump/rant, but there's a lot of good tidbits, anyway).

I can't sleep. Maybe if I write everything down that's on my mind, I can get some peace and rest.

The lawyer situation: I've made the initial contact with someone who is supposed to be good, but may or may not know anything about bikes/bike law. I sent along the police report, descriptions of my injuries and the photo of the bike I put on twitter. So, on that, I'm waiting.

Injuries: everything was better today, except for right after I woke up; moving around a little worked out the little bit of stiffness that I had, and the only thing that's bothered me all day has been my ankle, and that only in the last couple hours. For some reason, bad days seem to follow the good ones, and I'm more than a little afraid of waking up in agony. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. No pain pills today though, that's something.

On the subject of pain pills, I'm somewhat divided, because on the one hand, they allow me to function on the bad days, at the worst moments, I can still get out of bed and move about the house, but I'm always a little hazy on those days, and it's nice to be clear. Would I just be in bed, suffering? Does pain by itself slow healing? When will I stop feeling like I've been hit by a car at 35mph?

Questions for the doctor (appointment on the second): How long will it take me to recover? How much of a recovery can I expect to make? Am I permanently damaged? When can I get rid of the shell? Where is the break exactly? Can I see my X-rays? How much PT (physical therapy) will I need?

Questions for the lawyer: How hard is this going to be? Is all of my stuff (bike, camera) covered? How much PT will I be able to afford? What about lost work time/income?

I've got lists of things that I need and/or want; things that are missing, notably my passport and notebook and flask; lists that I don't know if I'll ever tick off all the items or not. How is it that despite being an invalid unable to drive or walk I have so much to accomplish? And the number of little side things on my mind, besides. For example: I have to get my car registered and licensed this week, and I'm thinking about either getting an iphone or fixing the netbook, but I don't really know which to do, and I can't do anything at all about these things till friday, which is when I get my last paycheck from OSU. The paycheck is a surprise, though. I'm glad for it, and that I'll be able to fix/do stuff once I get it.

Then there's all the nice stuff people have done for me, from loaning books to bringing me beer to just coming over and hanging out and talking. I have a stack of comic books that I've read thanks to Cyrus and a bunch of DVDs that I've half watched on the nod, thanks to Adam M. I had the best cup of coffee I've ever tasted while I was still in the hospital thanks to Francois. I've got beer and good literature thanks to Stuart. I'm just now digging into the lit. Ken got me a freakin' camera, even if it is just on loan for a while. That's why there's still a trickle of pictures up here. I haven't forgotten any of you, and I'm trying to think of something nice to do, in gratitude, once I'm back on my feet.

That's about it. I think I've gone from the surface to the deep parts of what's on my mind. If I wrote any more, I'd be telling my life story, as all the other thoughts I have are just snippets of anecdotes from disconnected stories.

sam's club and the electric cart

I've never before actually needed to ride in one, but they say there's a first for everything. Today, I used one of those electric carts to get around sams. FYI, they're a pain when you have to use them. That and for some reason I kept getting dirty looks; I guess because I have the brace on under my shirt people thought I was a healthy person abusing the cart, if that were possible. Oh well. Photos:

For memorial day, or whatever holiday this is. Yay flag.


Bathroom sign at old chicago.


And finally some rain.

Went out last night. Did the whole blue note/ladies night thing. Tommy G came and picked me up, and off we went, into the night. It was nice to see some of the people out that I hadn't seen in two weeks. Of course, as sure as the night before, the morning after is a bitch. I woke up and I couldn't move, there was a lot of pain. I'm sure it was a combination of attempting to detox and the night out, but still, I'm glad the pain pills were within arms reach.

So, as things stand, I still need to get a lawyer, I don't know if there's going to be long term damage, and I still don't have a job. Sometimes I need the pain pills and sometimes I don't. it seems to depend on what I've been doing more than anything; the easier I take it, the better off I am.

On the good news list, I have a camera now, thanks to Ken's boss. It's a digi Rebel, nothing to write home about, but it's functional, at least, and I figure I could do worse. It's not like I have any assignments anyway. Project idea: Photograph all the stuff people have loaned/given me while convalescing. I might work on that after my nap. photos of last night to follow later too.

fallout

I write this blog for two reasons, to share pictures and so all the people in my life, no matter how far flung, can get an idea of what's going on in my life. Now, since I had the wreck last tuesday, I've only posted once, just putting up some details and leaving it at that. Since then I've been popping pain pills at regular intervals and working my way through the stack of comic books and movies my friends brought by. Then someone bitches in the comments that I'm boring him. I told him to go fuck himself, because, hey, I deserve a couple days off for the broken back.

On the other hand, I do have a few updates to pass along. I got out of the hospital Friday, and promptly took a nap. When I woke up I realized I hadn't looked at my camera in several days, so I pulled it out and found it was broken. My 50mm 1.2 won't autofocus and the mode dial no longer works at all. And the battery door is broken off. The bag I was carrying has a hole in it, too.

It's hard to get up and down, but I can walk and stand pretty well, although that does depend on me keeping up with the pain pills- one every four hours and I can move and function pretty well. On the pain meds, I can do most normal stuff.

I didn't take any before I went to sleep last night, mostly because I was feeling fine and I really don't like the drugged feeling. This morning, I was regretting that decision, because all of the minor aches had turned to major ones, and it was a task just to sit up in bed. I took pills, and now I'm fine. I can't wait for the day when I don't depend on pills to get around the house. Should be soon.

the wreck

since I've told this about twenty times yesterday and today, and a lot of those tellings were under the influence of strong drugs, i figure one more time won't hurt.

i was riding my bike into town on 4th street and a car t-boned me hit me from the rear. The lady said she was singing to her kids. my lights were on, and i'd bet they weren't looking. I can't remember any of what happened. paramedics said the car was pretty messed up, but they also noticed I had my lights on. at least the car didn't run off.

they took me to ou med center, where they determined I have a spinal fracture but no damage to my spinal cord. bruised ribs, some cuts, and my right ankle is stiff. I'm alive and I'll heal, which is the good news. i'm going to be laid up for a while though, have to wear a torso brace for 6 weeks.

everybody's been awesome, thanks for all the support, food, books, and just dropping in to visit. I'm here till tomorrow at least, then home and more rest. pills. no bike for a while. if you want to get in touch but don't have my number, just send me a direct message on twitter. laters.

(Edit to fix how the accident happened, I was more bruised on one side than the other, making me think I was t-boned).

Finally, I know where the flats are coming from

Or at least some of them. It's a bad idea to leave your bike in a hot car- heat raises pressure and softens rubber, and then before you know it, you've had 10 flats in just a few weeks. And it's always a bummer to go out to get your wheels for a ride and find flats.

Last night was a typical monday- blue note pool, tommy g night ride, but with a couple bonuses. Ran into some people who told me rumors of photo work, so that's pretty awesome. Also: Alibi's, which I'd never been to before last night, has $3 bottomless cups of beer. It's shitty light beer, but it will make drunkface just fine.

Meet Tasha. Cool chick. I fixed her bike a little. And by fixed her bike, you know what I mean. Flat tire, of course.


So, after some drinking, it was time to ride and work off the beer. We got about a mile, and then I had a blowout. My guess is my rim strip already had a hole from the first blowout of the night, which happened in my car before the evening started. So, I had to sit around and wait for some one to go grab my car, and then we made a walmart run for more tubes, and then the ride was back on.

self, tasha. Tommy needs his own camera, he's got a good eye.

By the time we were actually riding, it was 3:30am. We did a couple parking garages, a little bricktown, I skidded the ramp in front of the theater (it's a really long ass ramp, ~100 yards), and the freewheel riding dudes (tommy and lem) I was with didn't care.

"Wouldn't it be cool to climb that fire escape," Tommy said. "Except for the fall and die part," I said.

Lem

Tommy

remember when I said I was bored with taking pictures of drunk people? somebody heard that and responded with the wildest, craziest thing I've ever seen at a party. They had a water boarding party. In priest robes.



They swore up and down that they'd gotten them legally. The robes. And as for the water torture, well, what's a little torture between friends?



Actually, everyone pouring got poured on too, so it was at least sort of fair. And there was a "safe word," in the form of a hammer that the person on the board would drop when they'd had enough. Which was usually seconds. Nobody made it very long.



Right now, you're thinking to yourself, "Did MM get waterboarded?" and the answer is a definite no. I drowned once before (note, the near-death count has gone up since then), was resuscitated, and for about six years of my childhood I didn't go near the water, and I took very shallow baths. So, I don't need to experience simulated drowning, I've had the real thing.



Other than the torture, it was a pretty standard evening, with a lot of beer and liquor consumed, and crashing out on the couch. I hadn't been letting myself get that drunk, but once in a while it's fun. At least I didn't black out.

felt like saturday all night...

Band plays art opening. Man bites dog.


So yesterday was really crazy. For a dude like me, who doesn't have normal, that means it was extra special.

A little taste of ISO 25,000. THIS IS HOW REAL MEN TAKE PICTURES.

(edit out long drawn out account of room cleaning, wheel building, and finally bike tube acquisition, which was crazy to do, but after writing it out, boring to tell).

These two old dudes were just sitting togetther mooning over each other in a loud bar filled with people a third their age. Aww.

Then there was booze cruise and Sauced and Hi lo, and hanging out at Erin/Colby's place, with some random Cmay thrown in just because my night wasn't interesting enough already.

People always do this. Not usually in triplicate, though.


On a random somewhat tangentially related note (but who wants boring details?) I realized last night that I like philosophies that allow me to do nothing and reap benefits for it. That's all.

Bike ride? Bike ride.

kamps

I hate grading

You know that story about how some monasteries require applicants to stand outside and wait for three days before they can enter? After a semester of teaching a bunch of kids who are just there to fill in a blank on their degree rubric, I understand that now. So many people aren't in college to learn, they're there to buy a piece of paper. And when you expect them to do more than sit there in class and stare at the wall, they balk. Sometimes there's one or two good students, but they're the exception. It would be nice if we could limit our students to those who wanted to learn.

Dinner on no diet day. Gotta love it.

Oh well. I'll never be an ancient sage of anything, either, and I'm not taking another teaching job, unless it's teaching photography as art. I'll never forget the blank faces I got after showing my students "La Jetee." It wasn't that they didn't understand the film, they had just ignored it. Anyway, the sun is shining, the outside is gorgeous, and I'm off.

(insert clever title, I'm not feeling it right now)

Last night was... interesting. I made a little trip to norman, basically to fix a light for some friends. They couldn't get the globe back on. It was actually on of those "any excuse to get out of the house is a good one" trips. Heading down there, the traffic was epic, and then my exit was closed, so I got lost, and it ended up taking me 45 minutes for a 20 minute trip. typical.



For all that effort though, I was rewarded. Tracy (my friend with the broken light, remember?) made two pizzas. There would be pictures of them, but I was busy eating it. Delicious. Then I got introduced to "it's always sunny in philadelphia" which is a combination of awesome and strange and disturbing. the night then proceeded to get better. I took this photo on the way out:



Then I went to the blue note, where there was much pool playing and a little drinking. Ran into Tommy G and Josh, and it was actually mostly dry, so we went riding. Couple parking garages scaled, a ride to best buy where we discovered that their trash was sealed. Exhaustion. Home. bed. That's about it.

Tommy g with the evil look of the day.

me, taken by dude who's name I can't remember.

No name dude, by me. If you're reading this, sorry dude. I forget names really easily.

stoking my paranoia

from Schneier:

... Twenty years ago, if someone wanted to look through your correspondence, he had to break into your house. Now, he can just break into your ISP. Ten years ago, your voicemail was on an answering machine in your office; now it's on a computer owned by a telephone company. Your financial accounts are on remote websites protected only by passwords; your credit history is collected, stored, and sold by companies you don't even know exist.

And more data is being generated. Lists of books you buy, as well as the books you look at, are stored in the computers of online booksellers. Your affinity card tells your supermarket what foods you like. What were cash transactions are now credit card transactions. What used to be an anonymous coin tossed into a toll booth is now an EZ Pass record of which highway you were on, and when. What used to be a face-to-face chat is now an e-mail, IM, or SMS conversation -- or maybe a conversation inside Facebook.

Just to prove that I don't just shoot parties...

I took my camera to the grocery store. I have an idea: to make interesting pictures when nothing is happening. It's a weird personal barrier I have, a switch that is either on or off in my head; if it doesn't seem to me like anything is happening, then nothing is. Of course, something is always happening, "the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock." (james baldwin)

And then came saturday...

I spent a lot of last week in bed, although not in a good way. I was laid low by some upper respiratory virus, most likely a cold, but maybe the flu. No swollen glands or soreness, though, and no high fever, so probably not. Wednesday I was fine, Thursday I woke up and had a sore throat and slept all day and then felt fine, Friday I felt like shit all day so I stayed in and out of the rain, and then came Saturday.



Saturday, I was supposed to meet up with a certain lady to hang out. So I text her around 6:30, she says she's still at work, so I tell her to just let me know when she gets free, and we can coordinate then. 10:30 rolls around, no news, so I decide to head out on my own. I still haven't heard back from her. Can't win 'em all.



I went to Sauced for a few good beers and then Blue note for a few less good beers, and then Cyrus texts me and says he's at a party around the corner. So I say I'll be there in a hot minute and head out. Side note: Paying in cash means you can leave whenever you want to.



So I get to the party and no Cyrus. There were a bunch of people I didn't know and one that I did; it was Melissa's going away party. So, I turned my gregariousness up to 11 and met a bunch of new people, although I'm afraid by that time I was more fueled by booze than by social graces. Then there was more beer and more hard liquor and a lot of blurry moments. Cyrus got back maybe 15 minutes after I'd arrived, with more beer.



Later, after more beer and some whiskey, I extracted myself from the party, wandered around a bit, decided I should park the car, got on my bike, wandered a bit more and ended up crashing on Cyrus' couch. I realized this morning that that particular party was the kind where you have a really good time while there and then only later realize you were making a complete fool out of yourself.



Today was a typical sunday: Jeff's for brunch, video games, movies, pizza, bar, home. I've got to get a job, and an apartment, and a motorcycle. In that order. Ah, goals. It's nice to have those again.

Sorry for the hiatus. I've been stupid and self-doubting or maybe smart and self doubting. And I've been sick. Anyway, while my hard drive is restoring from backup, I thought I'd share a few of the week's lesser failures. Actually, looking at the pix, they're not that bad. Lighting in clubs is just impossible unless you bring your own.



I shot these all last wednesday, at Kamp's deli. It turns into the latest and greatest OKC dance club on wednesday nights. It might be there more often, but I really don't know. It was actually really fun, there was a good spread of music and a good spread of people. Lots of photographers, although I was the only one not using flash.



I'm not leaving out the captions out of laziness or unremembered details, but I really think these don't need anything to explain them.